Tarot Reader Compassion for the “Am I Pregnant” Question

St. Anne Conceiving the Virgin Mary, by Jean Bellegambe (1480 -1535 )
St. Anne Conceiving the Virgin Mary, by Jean Bellegambe (1480 -1535 )

Tarot readers often jest about the inevitable reading request, one that most tarot teachers instruct to be outside the bounds of tarot ethics to answer matter-of-factly, that one question that is so easy to postulate as the stupidest possible question to ask the tarot, and that is the question, “Am I pregnant?”

Inside, we smirk and giggle, and ask, “Why don’t you just take a pregnancy test?” and hoot a little at how ludicrous it is for someone to ask that question to the tarot, or to any divinatory medium. Even I have been guilty of thinking that response when such a question is presented. I mean, who in their right minds would go to a tarot reader and ask “am I pregnant?” How stupid do you have to be?

About as stupid as me.

Okay, actually, I’ve never presented that question to a tarot reader. But I am here to ask all of you tarot professionals who might not have experienced this side of life to hear me out and maybe, in the future, in your head and among your emotions, be sincerely able to show compassion.

First of all, no, she can’t take a pregnancy test. Any woman who is trying to conceive can tell you about that awful, agonizing two weeks between date of ovulation and projected first day your period is supposed to start. At this time, no pregnancy test we have generally available will tell you whether you’re pregnant. The only thing you can do is wait out the two dreadful weeks and, only if your period doesn’t come on the day it’s supposed to come, do as some of you tarot readers say and “go take a pregnancy test.”

If you’re expecting, then during these two weeks, you need to behave like you’re pregnant already, take the vitamins you need to take, avoid caffeine, avoid alcohol, all to ensure the possible baby’s health. You’re emotional for physical hormonal reasons. You’re emotional for emotional reasons. Symptoms of pregnancy mimic symptoms of PMS almost to a tee, so your own body is playing head games with you. “Am I pregnant or am I just PMS-ing?” Every day passes with excruciating listlessness and every other hour is occupied by the thought, “Well, am I?”

If you’re not expecting on purpose but, you know, something happened and now you’re worried, then these two weeks are even more agonizing. You run through every scenario of how your life will change if, if you are indeed pregnant. You scare yourself half to death in two weeks’ time.

You become desperate, every conscious thought preoccupied by this looming question, and so maybe, just maybe, despite an ivy league education, three degrees on your wall, and a six figure income, you go to a tarot reader. After all, they say they’re psychic, right?

You’re not thinking straight. You’re desperate. You’re emotional. You’ve placed a great deal of stress on your own body and you don’t even know if you’re doing it for any legitimate reason. So you send out the question, “Am I pregnant?” to an online tarot reader because, yes, that’s where you are mentally and emotionally, and what do you get back. A stoic boilerplate response about ethics or something like that, and having to rephrase your question.

Don’t be that tarot reader sending out the stoic boilerplate response.

While I would still contend that trying to answer that question as presented violates most common codes of tarot ethics, see this reading request as an opportunity.

It is an opportunity to be there for someone who might be feeling very alone in her struggle. It is an opportunity to make a difference in her emotional state, to guide her, with tarot, toward a sense of spiritual balance. You can help redirect her thought focus and alleviate some of that stress she has put on herself. If nothing else, it is an opportunity for you to reach out and make someone else feel better.

If you hold any level of religious faith, then maybe this question presented to you is an opportunity for you to serve that higher good. It is a chance for you to connect on a spiritual level with someone who needs your strength right now. It is a fated encounter orchestrated by the Divine so that she can receive some consolation through this difficult, sensitive struggle and you can be that messenger for Divine compassion.

So, tarot professionals reading this, if and when you get that question, “Am I pregnant?” please don’t smirk. Please read between the lines there and with your empathy, feel how much distress and torment is seeping through. I know that most of you are already kind (or at least polite) in your actual response back to these inquiries, but please, in your mind, in your thoughts and attitude, also be genuinely kind.

13 thoughts on “Tarot Reader Compassion for the “Am I Pregnant” Question

  1. As an individual who has read the Tarot for over twenty five years, my take on this subjects has always been that I am not a physician and thus am not licensed to practice medicine. I always considered this question to be essentially a medical determination as even if a woman misses her period it does not necessarily mean she is pregnant. I always tell them to see their gynecologist for pregnancy determination or if they are having trouble conceiving.

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    1. Definitely agree with you here. I also think that some sensitivity is in order. Such a direct referral without more can come across as cold, especially when received by a woman who knows already that she needs to see a gynecologist and in fact, has an appointment scheduled. She’s not really asking the tarot reader to diagnose her medically. She’s reaching out desperately for spiritual comfort. That’s all I hope tarot readers will provide. To use their intuition to read behind the words and see a cry for compassion where there is one.

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  2. Hoping for another wonderful and thorough deck review, I was disappointed to see this post and started reading it only half-interested in the topic. That changed quickly. I thought your perspective and advice was wonderful. Thank you for reminding me (us) that no matter how silly or illogical someone might come across, there’s true emotion and/or pain behind such a question. What a good blog post!

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    1. Aww, thank you! That was exactly the point I hoped to get across, that no matter how silly or illogical a question presented might seem, look at the emotional tension behind the question and be compassionate toward that tension. 🙂

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  3. Yes, beautifully presented … while clinically detached observation of empirical knowledge tells the story, holistically there’s a spiritual and healing need for compassion. Skilled card readings shouldn’t negate the profound responsibility for sensitivity to the seeker’s emotional quest.

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  4. There are many questions that readers often kind of roll the eyes about (I have been guilty of that in the past as well) but the truth is that every single question is someone asking to be heard, that their anxiety, or stress, or longing, be recognized and THAT is what I try to respond to. While I still won’t read “am I pregnant” or “does he love me,” I try to respond to the emotion behind the question and see if there is a way to hold space for that. Wonderful post!!

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    1. You’re absolutely right. I’m also guilty of having rolled my eyes a bit at certain repetitive questions that we all get asked (you know the ones!). But the seeker would not have posed the question if there wasn’t sincere anxiety and longing, really intense emotions, behind the inquiry. (Generally speaking.) So it’s important that a good tarot reader addresses those emotions, exactly as you said. Thanks for your great words.

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  5. Whenever I get a querent with a yes/no question (typically “will i get pregnant next month”, “does he love me” or “will he love me”), the first step I take is trying to locate the ACTUAL worry and then devise a better question.

    I have done those pregnancy readings as well – I always suggest we take a different look at the situation, e.g:

    The woman is scared that she might be pregnant. You can then observe what direction her life will take. What are the obstacles? Are there any? What are the supportive elements?

    The woman is scared she is not pregnant. What can I do to make pregnancy more possible (not medicinally)? What is halting me? Why do I want to be pregnant? Where is the pressure coming from?

    I think it is crucial we locate the actual subconscious trigger (fear, guilt, envy, anger, shame, whatnot) and try to help our querent with that element of her. I have found that people generally don’t come for fortune telling, they come for support. These very baseline questions are not triggered initially because they want you to tell them the truth; they are triggered by basic human emotions and fears.

    Such as the question “Does he love me?”. Although the question itself proposes that he probably does not, why would anyone ask that question? Neediness? Emotional bandage? So perhaps we should instead take a peek at WHY the querent is asking that, what are the fear/inferiority/whatnot triggers within her…

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  6. I think it’s pretty amazing that the picture you found to lead this article is by Bellegambe! The Bells are knocking it out of the park for this one! And Bel, you surely took a gamble with this subject. Bravo!

    I absolutely love everything you’ve said here! I agree completely! Essentially readers are a form of counselor, and it is up to the reader to help a querant clarify a question or focus of a reading. Perhaps in this case, along with some compassionate conversation, if a reader still doesn’t want to answer that query, a different approach could be taken. For example, asking how can I best take care of my body right now, or something like that…??

    In any case, your plea for compassion here is brave and brilliant, Bel! Thanks for writing it!

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