Maybe Biased Blacklists are Not a Good Model of Buddhism

This article needs to be written, because I won’t stand for conservative religious zealots to claim ownership over a Buddhism I grew up understanding as compassionate and generous in spirit, where we make room for many paths of Buddhist practice that may differ from one’s own.

I tried to resolve this privately directly with Mr. Adak. I didn’t even mind that he leaves up the original post about me, but in the spirit of dialogue, especially among Buddhists, and in the spirit of the open forum that I thought Reddit should be, at least post my response in the comments. He refused, and not only that, but he’s actually censoring the comments section.

So here we are.

I’ve got my fair share of detractors, antagonists, and critics, and the older and wiser of my community remind me that we all deal with them, especially when we put our work out there and it makes a sound. But one as of late warrants attention, because it is religious hypocrisy in a way that tarnishes a faith that is deeply personal to me, and it’s about patriarchs trying to enforce their “traditional” dogma.

At first, I was thinking about the Streisand Effect, and so maybe I should not say anything because me saying anything is only going to blow him out of proportion and attract more attention.

And then I realized: That’s exactly what I want. Because this is much bigger than one poser on Reddit. It’s a systemic pattern that needs to be called out into the light. It’s what he and his “council of traditional Buddhists” (we’ll get to that) represent; and what I have been put in the position of representing. (Though now that we’re here, it’s an honor to.) So yes. Let’s give it attention.

Eishin Adak presents himself in traditional Buddhist cloth and dedicates endless hours upon hours on Reddit preaching Buddhism, and leading Buddhist communities. He says he’s “very busy with practice and study” of Buddhism but then devotes his days to monitoring the internet for Buddhists who differ doctrinally from him and lumps their names onto a blacklist he closely monitors. Imagine spending whatever hours he’s spending “practicing the Dharma” only to end up a bullying power-hungry Reddit mod. Goodness.

When he sees this, and he will, because he follows my work closely, he’s going to feel trapped. Because he’s a self-proclaimed “traditional Buddhist” who is far too ascended, moral, and detached for a petty internet brawl (although we’re here because he’s the one who picked the fight, so already he’s a hypocrite). Any further clapback he’s ooh-ooh itching his balls to make against me will only prove I’m right and that his whole devout persona is a facade.

Whereas me? I’m a petty bitch and I’m good with that. Yes, I’m Buddhist. But I’m not a Buddhist teacher, I’m not Buddhist clergy, not a leader of any group of any sort, I’m literally just a petty bitch who happens to try her best at being Buddhist and fails at it more often than she would like. I’m not vegetarian, I love my wine, I use cuss words, but you know what? My hands are clean. I have never in my entire life started a fight.

But this petty bitch is also a witch. And Eishin, your Buddhism can only protect you from witchcraft if you’ve been good. And you and I both know you are far, far from being a good boy. Whereas I say all this with my full chest because I know I’m in the right. So when all that “practice and study” of yours is getting disrupted by mara… know that I did not send those mara your way. Your conscience created them from your own malfeasance.

All right. What the heck am I even talking about. I’m getting to it. A couple days ago, someone asked me if I had seen this little blurb about me over on Reddit, which now is the first and top-most post that comes up if you search for my name on that platform:

BellWen / Benebell Wen: East Asian religions grifter. Has no legitimate affiliation with any Buddhist tradition, yet advertises on social media promising esoteric transmission without teachers, while simultaneously criticizing the very tradition of esotericism and teacher-student relationships in the same post. The esoteric material she posts online are from dubious sources and do not represent Esoteric Buddhism as practiced by authentic sects of Buddhism.

The blacklist starts out strong with a call-out against a “violent and genocidal race supremacy group” of “Alt-right neo-nazis,” he claims, then an organization he alleges has a “history of sexual abuse” and then a post-nuclear terrorist cult using Buddhist iconography that he claims has murdered people, groups engaging in demon worship, federal sex trafficking, SA, a cult leader who was “manipulating an autistic student” and “known fraud,” more neo-nazi fascists, he claims, and then…

Me. There I am. Right after that laundry list of heinous allegations. And then picking up right after me, more SA allegations, cults preying on minors in “prayer rooms,” a swinger sex cult, and more organizations with a “history of fraud and corruption” along with some guy who… oof, you know what, this is dirtying my own page and it’s gross. Guys, go read it if you must, and then sanitize yourself head to toe.

I have never, in my history of being online, consolidated so many awful words into so little space, but that’s what happens when you’re forced to talk about Eishin Adak and his “traditional Buddhist” ways. Everything I’m saying here, every bad word, is quoted directly from his [traditional Buddhist] posts.

Ugh, I’m so sorry I subjected you to this. I did it because I wanted to make my point. Can you just imagine how I felt when I read the list top down, in one sitting, and then found my name on said list?

Also, my leftist progressive friends, tell me if I’m off about this: The way he calls out these types of bad actors… in concept, all good, we love, we support, am I right? But at some point it becomes extreme in itself, falling off the Middle Path, and it’s always, always a very certain type of closeted person in this world who becomes fixated-obsessed with this sort of stuff, am I wrong? You reading between my lines here? Also, he is the founder of a “traditional Buddhist” group called Golden Swastika? That’s the name you wanted to go with, when presenting Buddhism in the Western world? Before you mansplain me, I get it, I do. Thousands of years of history originating as Asian Buddhist iconography, I get it of course I do. It’s just that compassionate Buddhists in the 21st century would want to be sensitive to current realities, especially here in the West. So who are we trying to fool? Either Tendai-Student consciously knows what he’s doing or subconsciously there’s still an uncomfortable hateful message there.

He claims that a “council of traditional Buddhists” collaborate on the upkeep of that blacklist. Who, pray tell, are on that council? The public would like to know.

Can we please make that list of council members public? Names named, each one’s affiliation, just like the blacklist? In fact, sign your names and stop cowering in the shadows. Because tell me what devout Buddhist clergy are spending their time policing the internet and fluffy bunny small content creator YouTubers a “dangerous non-Buddhist organization”? That’s my question. (Also, I’m not an organization. I’m literally one person making videos about stuff I care about as a weekend hobby. I’m not even a business.)

But hey if he says there is a “council of traditional Buddhists” that are managing this blacklist and it’s not just him in his mother’s basement, then you and I should trust his word, because a traditional Buddhist would not lie or mislead. Right?

You want to go after big, powerful institutions who are swindling the vulnerable population of their hard-earned savings that you have documented evidence of? Go for it. But little ole’ me? I’m just one individual researching primary source texts and connecting that research to multigenerational family practice, my heritage, and culture.

My whole mission and my sole purpose for doing any of this is to put out not-for-profit content to help my fellow Asian Diaspora reconnect with their ancestral roots, and to share with the wider world what I know about Asian folk magic, which just so happens to get tinged with Buddhism and Taoism.

I’m the dangerous one? Deserving to have my name sandwiched in between someone Eishin claims is a “neo-Nazi fascist anti-woman misogynistic incel” and a group with a “history of sexual misconduct by high-level members”? These are all his allegations, by the way. I don’t know any of these names. I don’t know anything about any of these people.

Juxtaposing and weaving the names of people Eishin Adak (popularly known as Tendai-Student) merely disagrees with doctrinally in between names of organizations and groups that are, well, all of what we’ve cited above, is a disgusting manipulative tactic. And to see someone who claims to represent Buddhism, the beautiful, compassionate, unconditionally merciful and “come one come all” inclusive, welcoming Buddhism I know and love, is heartbreaking.

And I worry that the Western world is going to come away with the wrong impression of Buddhism because of people like Mr. Adak.

Also, if only it was just the framing of his blacklist that was misleading, but no, I can at least speak to how misleading the paragraph on me is.

The point about me having “no legitimate affiliation with any Buddhist tradition.” I’m not quite sure what that means. I’m not Buddhist clergy. I’m not a Buddhist spiritual teacher or leader. I’m one lay individual with a full-on mundane day job who spends her weekends looking up publicly available historical texts and when I find something interesting, share it on my humble, niche YouTube channel and blog.

I have never, ever stated that I offer “esoteric transmission without teachers.” I don’t offer “esoteric transmission” at all.

I said that it can be done without teachers, including without me.

I also never criticized traditions of esoteric Buddhism and teacher-student relationships, no more than what Adak himself has done right there in that Reddit thread, which is to say, like him, I acknowledge that there are a lot of bad actors out there, so stay safe, folks! Be super careful about not getting mixed up in cult-like abusive groups, and as it so happens, a whole lot of them start with that intimate teacher-student relationship.

So why are you so threatened by me, Mr. Adak? No, sorry. You say it’s not you, it’s a “council of traditional Buddhists.” Can you please ask your “council of traditional Buddhists” why they feel so threatened by a little old Asian lady with a big mouth? Oh. Right. I answered my own question. That big mouth part.

The number of times he repeats how he’s a “traditional Buddhist” and he’s here for “traditional Buddhism” kinda low-key exposes his biggest insecurity: he’s not really representative of traditional Buddhism. Dedicating as much energy and time as he does to gatekeeping, policing the internet, creating blacklists, cataloging “wrong” traditions, and seeking institutional validation exposes to all of us that this guy’s the one who is inauthentic, not me, and he’s the one lacking inherent authority. Not me.

Mr. Adak is afraid that I might be in the right. That maybe an independent Asian woman writing freely about her own lived experience holds natural, unshakeable legitimacy. He tries so desperately — doesn’t he? — to be relevant and right that one individual woman, a lay practitioner, making home videos on her multigenerational family folk practices who cites to historical primary source texts that clearly contradict his doctrine – that me, such a woman is just as dangerous as international crime syndicates and terrorist groups. I get it.

It’s my legitimacy that’s dangerous. Because I thrive without orthodoxy’s permission and that rubs their ego the wrong way. That’s why I’m on that list.

He says I’m not preaching traditional Buddhism. Again, I don’t know what that means.

I am unequivocally preaching something traditional: this is Buddhist faith integrated with local folk practices. It’s old ancestral magic, not always written down by Western scholars in their books; you have to read this know-how from your bones; you have to hear it from your grandmother, and watch the rituals your uncles lead, talk to the toothless fortune-teller that is your mother’s childhood friend, hold in your hand the Kuan Yin talisman crafted by a powerful spirit worker.

It’s a traditional Buddhism that presents itself amongst the people, standing by the commoners across East Asia, Southeast Asia, in the Buddhist magical practices of Thailand, Myanmar, Cambodia, and Laos; in the witchcraft you’ll find in Japan, Vietnam, and Taiwan.

Predatory cults claiming to be Buddhist and actual grifters who will bankrupt your savings by preying on your faith are all real problems. Heck, the irony is the core purpose of my doctrinal stance comes from trying to protect people seeking “esoteric transmissions” from precisely these actual grifters who would exploit the teacher-student relationship to pick your pockets.

And it is pitiful that Adak’s own conduct negates his self-proclaimed mission, a mission that is sincerely noble. When you conflate someone like me with a powerful cult leader who is committing SA and swindling tens upon thousands of dollars from the vulnerable, you defeat your own objective. I’m not saying take me off the blacklist. Leave me there for all I care, but make it clear what is what.

My focus is on sharing with people different methods of self-empowerment so that they themselves can be safe, secure, and prosperous, and then inspire them to pay it forward, earning even more good karma and merit. And I do that without asking for any compensation in return. I don’t ask for money, I don’t ask for any sort of creepy spiritual whatever whatever. Nada. Well, maybe please: Like, subscribe, and comment. (Hey no one’s perfect.)

Whereas this “traditional Buddhist council” on Reddit is focused on policing the internet for every Buddhist viewpoint that differs from theirs and patronizing people on “authentic Buddhism.” It’s psychologically devious how these types of patriarchal conservatives weave perfectly harmless organizations that just happen to disagree with their doctrinal views seamlessly with, like, literal international terrorists, criminals, predators, and convicted scam artists.

The “traditional” Buddhism these types of people preach is one that, apparently, emphasizes formal credentials, trolling Asian women who won’t obey, and spending a profane number of hours on Reddit and Discord.

It’s actually becoming clearer to me now why my name would be there, equal to felons of war crimes and horrendous abuse: because to men like these, that’s exactly what a heretical woman with a mouth is on par with. Mr. Adak isn’t criticizing me (sorry, his council of traditional Buddhists) for citing from “dubious sources.” To him and men like him, I am the dubious source.

That’s why I’m writing this. It’s not about Reddit user Tendai_Student aka Eishin Adak. He’s just the representative of what needs examination and scrutiny. It’s about all the power-tripping sanctimonious hypocrites like him who weaponize orthodoxy. See, this long article is my broader response to a recurring, often vicious animosity I encounter in my comments from men like him, men who seem to regard my very existence and my refusal to align with their viewpoints as a personal affront to their authority.

In the same way naming me wasn’t personal and it was about what I represent, naming Tendai-Student isn’t personal; it’s what he and his council of traditional Buddhists represent.

As someone born and raised in Mahayana Buddhism, I will not cower in passivity while I watch these “traditional Buddhists” here in the West tarnish the living spirit of the Buddhism that I know, a living practice of Buddhism that makes room for all people, practices, and paths, that teaches compassion, not condemnation.

Even if what I am doing is absolutely false, horrendous, dangerous, or reprehensible, there is a skillful Buddhist way to guide the wayward back toward the light, and what that Reddit thread, and those like it, represent is not it.

The truth of it is so painfully obvious that it’s ridiculous. Adak and this “council of traditional Buddhists” aren’t here to expose a grifter, yes me, the grifter; what these men are doing is the oldest, most tired mode of male fragility.

They’re terrified of a witch.

Which. Shrug. Maybe they should be.