Recently I came across this video essay by a fellow community content creator on YouTube who had some candid critiques of authors, influencers, and content creators from our mutual community. She shared frustrations about seeing a growing disconnect between those who create content and those who consume content, i.e., the audience that supports an author or content creator.
She had a lot of very legit criticism of the present day online creator ecosystem. Bots and AI-generated responses, monetizing parasocial relationships in a way that feels exploitative, the end of peer to peer communications and the rise of transactional relationships, alienating many socioeconomic classes with paywalls, and having assistants manage community spaces rather than the big-name content creator themselves engaging in those community spaces — I hear you. All valid points speaking truth to power. Also, her concerns speak to something deeper– the loneliness and disconnection many of us feel online these days. Where has that sense of fellowship gone?
Though as someone who also writes, publishes, and maintains an online presence, I have some strong feelings about these points, particularly around community engagement and the unrealistic expectations that get imposed on authors and content creators.
I’d like to unpack some of those critiques, not just from that one YouTuber or from that particular video essay, but because what she said reflects a majority view currently held against content creators when they’re not being responsive in their comments section. I want to offer my perspective. But this isn’t a response to that video, no. These are just my reflections on the realities of engagement, from a content creator’s perspective, inspired by the points she raised in that video.
Her main criticism centered around authors with a presence online and content creators who do not respond to comments, direct messages, or e-mails, who do not interact with their community at all, who don’t engage in genuine conversations with their viewers. “If I message you and you do not respond ever,” she says, “I start to wonder . . . you can never reply to anyone ever?”
I have some thoughts. But first, I get it. Because most people are watching these videos in search of connection. People comment because they want to build a community connection with that creator. If they comment and the creator replies, a bridge is built, and they feel seen by that creator. So when you reach out looking for the other to meet you halfway in building a bridge, and that moment goes without the creator’s acknowledgement, of course you’re going to interpret that as the creator not caring — you saw them, but you feel like they didn’t see you. They didn’t care to see you.
From the creator’s side, what often looks like indifference or apathy to the commenter is really just a bandwidth issue. Even when you care, you can’t be everywhere all at once, especially if you don’t want to be plugged into the internet 24/7. Also, from a content creator’s vantage point, there’s just no winning, no matter what you do.
If I reply to some but not all, now I’m being selective. How do you decide who to reply to? How do you decide who not to reply to? By the way, I do try to respond to some, and even that is impossible to keep up with, and I’m not the only one. I know all content creators feel this pressure, this anxiety.
My email inbox is so inundated with unread messages that even thinking about it gives me the shudders. If someone asks me an open-ended question that requires me to sit down at a desktop in front of a real keyboard to type out a thoughtful reply, it’s — can I be honest? — the chances of me responding just went way down. Or if someone asks a follow-up question to something I wrote 13 years ago, I’m just not going to be able to give a prompt reply, not without first looking up whatever the heck I wrote 13 years ago.
I’m also sensitive to getting misquoted or my words taken out of context, because that’s been my experience, and lessons learned. So if I can’t craft a thoughtful response that gives full context and ensures that every stone is turned to explain what I need to explain, then in my mind, it’s better to not reply at all. Why give a half-ass answer? But also, I don’t have the bandwidth to give a fully baked answer to every single person who emails or DMs me a question.
And then also, I’m sensitive and hyper-aware of being a woman on the internet. And unless you, too, are a woman on the internet, you just don’t understand the heightened level of precaution you must take when engaging with men on the internet. It’s not about distrust, except to be honest maybe it is, but really, it’s about safety and boundaries. You can never be too careful. And you know, if you’re a good dude, you totally get it, right?
In a comments section, it’s even more public. If I respond to some, or “like” some but not all, now I feel like people will view me as biased, or being selective with who I engage with. I can’t possibly engage with all.
So sometimes creators default to non-engagement, not because they don’t care, but because it’s the only sustainable boundary that treats everyone equally. Because if you don’t engage with anybody at all, at least now you’re being fair, and treating everybody the same.
Also, most of the time, I have no idea what to say in reply. “Thanks!”? How many times can I repeatedly reply “Thanks!” like a robot before people start to think maybe I’m actually a robot?
A point the YouTuber made was that small content creators seem to actively engage with community, but then when that community makes them big, and now they’re big, successful content creators, suddenly they’re distant and, as big content creators, no longer engage with that same community that made them big. Sure, but also, the irony is that the more an audience grows, the harder it is to maintain a sense of intimate community. Responding to 30 comments is maybe possibly reasonable; responding to 300 — not so much. Can you even imagine the creators getting 3,000? 30,000?
If being a content creator is your full-time paid job, then yes maybe I agree with that YouTuber that full-time content creators who have made this their career should be engaging more actively with the audience, because that’s just good business etiquette. It’s the same rationale as me in my corporate job responding to all work emails and inquiries in a timely manner. It’s part of my job to make sure I’m replying to people who are waiting on replies from me.
But being a content creator is not my full-time paid job, and in fact, far from it. During limited windows of time, we sell the tarot decks I create, or online courses, sure, Hubby and I try to be as timely as possible with our responses to inquiries about what we are selling. That’s not us prioritizing people who pay us over people who don’t. That’s us trying to provide proper customer service.
Except that does not satisfy this YouTuber. Per her opinion, she wants more from content creators than just customer service replies. In fact, she critiques that even more. She wants content creators to engage with the community like friends, buddies, peers, colleagues, though also, to answer questions that aren’t related to a product or service the content creator is peddling. If a content creator only replies to customer service inquiries, that’s worse, because it shows they’re hustlers and grifters.
One point made was how certain big-name creators will only reply to you through Patreon, or if it’s related to something you’re buying. (To me, that expectation feels counter-intuitive. Isn’t it just basic professional courtesy? Now that’s a bad thing to attempt good customer service?)
“It doesn’t feel like community. I don’t even bother commenting on [that big-name creator’s] stuff anymore because [they’re] never going to read it. [They’re] never going to respond to it, so what’s the point? Where’s the exchange? … It’s just you lecturing at people …. if you have to get a response through a paywall, you are just paying them to give you attention.”
My opinion? The exchange is the big-name creator’s time and effort in putting out a free video for you, be that for your educational or entertainment purposes. Either way, it takes time and effort to produce that video, which then gets posted online for free, for you to access. The commenting is the exchange. The commenting is what supports that big-name creator so they can continue to create more free videos for the public to consume, be that for educational or entertainment purposes.
I think therein likes the disconnect. A lot of viewers think that they are giving something to the creator when they comment, and so the creator must reply to that comment to complete the exchange.
But creators feel that the video they’ve posted for free access starts the exchange, and the comment under the video is what completes that exchange.
The video essay conflates engagement with community vs. engagement with customers. I keep them very separate, and they are not the same.
If you’re selling something, then anybody who wants to buy the thing you’re selling is a customer. If they’ve paid for the thing and they now have a customer service question, yeah, the seller should probably respond. That’s not you “only” caring about paid supporters; that’s just you fulfilling your customer service obligations. And I kinda feel the same way about Patreon (which is exactly why I don’t have a Patreon) — if your biggest donor has a question, uh, yeah, I think you should promptly reply. Yet the YouTuber is saying somehow this approach is wrong?
There is a distinction here when it comes to books and authors of books. As an author, I don’t view the book that my publisher has put in bookstores for sale as the thing I’m selling that requires me to be attentive to customer service. If you need customer service, you go talk to the publisher or the bookstore owner, not me. I’ve said what I’ve said in the pages of my book. If you have follow-up questions, you can check my website, or blog, or the body of content I’ve produced to see if you can find an answer to your question. See, while I appreciate readers reaching out, I can’t personally respond to every message to explain what I meant when I said blah-blah-blah in my book, let alone when people ask me about Holistic Tarot, which at this point, I wrote 12 years ago.
Before the rise of social media, there was no public expectation that authors engage directly with the people who buy their books. Most readers never had any personal contact with the authors whose books they read. Social media collapsed that barrier, and there are pros and cons to that. Somehow, now the social expectation is for authors to reply to every email they receive, and when you don’t reply and engage, readers get big-mad.
Now engagement with community, when there’s nothing on the table to buy or sell, is totally different, and is not the same thing as customer service, so I think it oughta be approached differently. If anything, from the content creator’s perspective, posting the content starts the exchange, and anyone gracious enough to leave a comment is what completes the exchange, is what makes the time and effort of posting content in the first place all worthwhile.
If now, in addition to the time and effort of posting educational content I also must reply to each and every single commenter, direct message, and email to “engage” with community, that’s completely untenable. This isn’t even mentioning the emotional labor and lack of personal boundaries this is imposing on content creators.
“The only people [that content creators] care about are the ones who pay. If you’re just a random commenter and [the content creator] is not profiting off of you, then you don’t exist to them.”
There is probably a small minority of bad faith influencers that such a remark might apply to, but by and large, almost every content creator I know from our mutual community is not like that at all. And also, if your boss at work emails you a question, don’t you respond as promptly as possible? And sheepishly here, have you never received an email from a really, really good friend, but you kinda procrastinate and don’t send back a response until a week later because your workload has been brutal and high-stress? Does that mean you value your boss more than your friend? Or is it maybe, life happens. We know our good friend is going to understand, whereas our boss is not. So we get to the boss first. Guess what — when you sell something, the buyer is your boss. So yah, you better respond to your “boss.” In no way does that mean the random commenter doesn’t exist to you.
This is not to excuse all content creators. There are bad actors out there, but they’re the exception, not the rule. As it turns out, many of the authors and creators she mentioned are people I know personally, and from what I’ve observed, they’re conscientious and doing their best. It’s the system that sets impossible standards. It’s just not possible to be actively engaged 100% with every comments section on every platform and respond to every single email and DM. And them responding to the customer service inquiry over a casual let’s-just-chat email isn’t about them choosing profit over community, just like how if I get an urgent request email from my boss and my best friend texting, “Hey what’s up!” and I reply to my boss first, that doesn’t mean “if I’m not profiting off of you, you don’t exist.” It’s called living in reality.
And I guess, if that’s what you’re critiquing, it is a valid systemic critique of our capitalistic work economy. What it’s not a valid criticism of is the individual content creator who has to navigate that capitalistic work economy.
“And like, I don’t comment on most places because it’s like, what’s the point? I’m going to be ignored. It’s not going to matter. I don’t matter to this person. Whether I’m here or not literally will not impact their day.”
I promise you that’s not true, though I totally get where this feeling comes from. It’s disheartening when you’ve reached out to someone whose content you enjoy and then you get radio silence. The content creator seemed so authentic, so kind, and down-to-earth, like they could be your best friend. And so when you reach out to them and they don’t respond or engage at all, it stings. It can feel like a betrayal.
I can tell you, and attest, as a content creator, that every single comment — well, okay, apart from the truly unhinged, off-topic, or trolling ones that we unanimously scratch our heads at — matters to me. A lot. I’ve read it. I smiled. It made me feel warm and fuzzy. I laughed at your joke. I thought about the points you made. Maybe I didn’t reply because I’m not always great at crafting a good response, and I’m not gonna use the bot to write a reply, so I just end up going radio silent.
Your comment to me made me feel seen. And hearing that commenters feel ignored and unimportant when creators don’t reply is heartbreaking. But I also don’t know what the solution is. The solution that the commenters want is unrealistic. Unless someone has made creating YouTube videos for consumption their full-time paid job, and this is their corporate gig, it is unrealistic to expect the hobbyist with a day job and family to both make the video and be 100% actively engaged in the comments section. Like seriously that is an insane expectation.
Even when a creator has not responded to your comment, your comment shapes the tone of the community and you’re the one building the community, not that creator. Which is to say your comment is not just to be directed at the creator, but it is preserved for everybody else to see and be enriched by. That’s how community is built. I think that’s what people get wrong. No single creator builds a community. If it appears as if a single creator has built a community, friend, that’s not a community; you’ve stumbled into a cult.
When you leave a comment, you’re telling the algorithm, please reward this content creator, their content matters. You’re being an advocate for that creator. And I get it. Since you’ve advocated on behalf of that creator and you’ve helped push the algorithm in their favor, the least you should get in return is a thank you, right? I just don’t know how to assign that expectation onto content creators. It’s such an unrealistic (and anxiety-inducing) ask. This demand that if you’re on a little bit, then you better be always on is just nuts.
A healthy community is built on genuine reciprocity, not right to access. If a content creator has provided you with something of value, and you got it for free, the comment you leave, your engagement, is what closes that loop of reciprocity.
Like I said, though, I think I get it. The YouTuber and the people who share that perspective aren’t talking about engagement and expecting their favorite content creator to be “always on.” They’re looking for connection, and we all want to feel like we’re seen and being valued.
It’s just a conundrum that the content creator feels like if people don’t comment on the content they worked so hard to put out there, then their work isn’t being seen and valued.
But then for the commenter, when the creator doesn’t reply back, the commenter feels like their words aren’t being seen and valued.
There’s no winning for anybody. Both creator and commenter are seeking connection in increasingly impersonal spaces, but each one’s expectations of the other is resulting in a disconnect.
Instead of expecting the content creator to reply to your comment, give them some grace. Your comment is a gift; don’t hang on to an expectation for something in return.
Likewise, content creators should not take that grace for granted. Every comment represents someone’s time and effort, and thoughtfulness, and is a gesture of connection from someone who found meaning in your work. I think what I can do as a content creator is try to do better at acknowledging that.
benebell wen 
I enjoy reading your blog posts, topics, subject matter (whatever the proper term is lol) if you leave a link I would love to share it on IG as that is where I live socially most of the time. I do have a hard time logging into WordPress to leave comments, very frustrating lol. This is the 2nd attempt at commenting.
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Made a liar out of me LOL 😂 looks like I am able to login from my phone but not my computer ugh 😑
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No but seriously, the WordPress comments function is insanely difficult to navigate, even me, my blog, my comment section, logged in, I still have a challenging time replying to comments.
Just now as of to prove my point, I wrote out a whole reply to you, and then accidentally pushed the wrong button and then the entire comment disappeared, so now I’m repeating myself. 😭🤣
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Hi Benebell, how are you? People on social media are too worried about appearances and also deluded into thinking their whole identity is determined by their clicks and preferences.
If you want to write a blog or an email or a comment the best motivation is that you just like writing. If you want an immediate response or community feeling, you’re better off looking to the world around you.
Anyone who wants to meet an author can just go to a bookstore where they have readings or signings. The local church that has recovery and meditation coincidentally also has a lot of book and author events, so that’s also an option.
Even then, author is still a preference. If you go to a book store or church or a game store looking for an author, you might miss someone else important.
Wish you well –Brad
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100%!
The feeling of not being important to the content creator, is nothing more than a mirror; the need to feel seen, needing attention in order to feel worthy… A chronic reflection of society, which is lack of self worth and/or entitlement. Self worth is an inside job…
It is absurd to think that content creators, authors or anyone for that matter, are REQUIRED to respond and OWE anyone anything. Their content is a gift we can experience/enjoy, if we so choose. Some content creators have millions of followers. They would have no time to breathe/live or take care of themselves or their family etc. if they had to appease each person with a required response.
Entitlement and self “importance” points the finger to needing someone else’s kudos in order to feel valued/good about oneself. External applause will not ever truly do the trick. Self love and self respect are built though inner work and self reflection.
This judgmental society has created a lot of pain. The only way to heal is taking a big dive inward to face the superficial uglies and our shadow material, in order to remember our true identity, which is sourced in the Divine. Have compassion for self and other, for ultimately there is no other.
Much Love and Blessings to all. May Peace surround you.
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Just keep on doing what you’re doing. You’re producing great videos and posts. Hopefully you also find time for more art! 😊
If you happen to respond to anything, it’s a nice bonus. If not, it’s not the end of the world.
Now, get a pen and paper and leave the camera recording. 😁
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This right here is the heart of your piece, “A healthy community is built on genuine reciprocity, not right to access. If a content creator has provided you with something of value, and you got it for free, the comment you leave, your engagement, is what closes that loop of reciprocity.”
That word reciprocity is often missing by those who expect endless access to their demand. Often written by people who have no idea how much time everything takes and that for most of us, it’s a labor of love.
These complaints are often people who have full-time jobs with paid time off, paid sick days, matching 401ks who simply don’t understand the very different economic realities of those who are self-employed. I know you yourself are not as you have a day job, but many content creators this is it for them with no safety net. For those for whom this category applies, every minute is a resource that cannot be regained once lost.
Those who complain of access is due from, at best, failure of imagination, at worst, lack of empathy and entitlement. And any content creator who tries to make everybody happy will quickly become resentful and burn out endlessly giving without any return except maybe a like if we’re lucky.
Back in the days when information was not expected to be free, absolutely everything was paywalled, lol.
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I only speak for myself, but I’m just happy to see your content every now and then while fully acknowledging that you have a life outside of this sphere. And I feel that many comments on YouTube often forget that fact. Therefore anything you share with us is good enough. You’re good enough. And the amount of thought you place into trying to be present for the engagement is enough. Thank you always for sharing. I’m one of the lurkers because I understand how pressuring it feels to want to reply to everyone so please don’t ever feel forced. I have no solution here just wanted to share the appreciation 🙂
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❤
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I seem to have the opposite problem. I’m prolific in my writing, posting a new essay on my blog every day (I once went almost 450 consecutive days doing that), and my blog isn’t monetized so it’s not a commercial venture. But I receive very few comments. A reader who follows my work once observed that I can be intimidating in my critique of the current culture, and I acknowledge that. I write mainly for myself and share it online because I like having a public forum and don’t mind paying for a domain (I don’t do video because I prefer the written word to the “talking head” mode of presentation).
I take my need for interaction to the various Facebook and reddit communities where I can contribute to the conversation in a constructive way and receive feedback. A few years ago I published five e-books that organized my blog content into general topic areas, but have had almost no communication with buyers. The only comment I received was from someone who said that my esoteric volume is the only one he uses for reference, and that one acknowledgement was worth more than any number of encouraging “likes.” The deafening silence doesn’t really faze me since recognition, although nice to get, is not my main reason for creating content.
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That’s impressive! And it’s also building and preserving something valuable for posterity. Somebody important someday will stumble upon your body of work, fully see its value, and give it new light. Very cool!
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I’m not a content creator, but I was a traditionally published author. It took me a decade to finally land a 3-book deal. After the first two were published, the pressure of feeling compelled to maintain an active social media presence (I have NO personal social media), engage with readers, send out a newsletter, go on podcasts, beg BookTokkers to review me, market myself like a product, etc. became so intense and untenable that I just bailed. Never wrote the third book. I’m a nerdy introvert who likes to write–I never wanted a following, never wanted to be an internet presence–but it feels increasingly impossible to have a writing career without going that route. So I’ve quit the thing I once loved more than anything else.
Bottom line: You have every right to protect your privacy and your energy!
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I share your sentiments and it is *very* awkward, that song and dance you’re supposed to do to peddle your latest book. Authors *not* savvy at marketing and PR are penalized with less sales and visibility, and not-so-good mediocre authors can become huge commercial successes, not because they’re actually the top subject matter expert in their field, but simply because they’re (1) attractive to look at, and (2) great at PR. Le sigh.
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I wish there was a general reply function that would come up for content creators to use after the post had been up for a couple of days to allow for at least some of the comments to be read- and could then respond to the comments in entirety with a general comment, Of course it wouldn’t be all-encompassing, but it would be some-encompassing. Pinned comments for me, are generally just for clarifications, but that’s one way of doing it if need be – a place to provide follow up links etc.
One thing that does bother me is when content creators take a lot of time in videos to berate the people who aren’t liking, subscribing and commenting. I’m talking about when the ask goes on for a few minutes and is sometimes a rant about not being appreciated. Alright cool, but some of us did the thing and consistently do. We all know what to do – nobody is completely new to the internet. I think it’s fine to ask for it, or comment upon it, but as someone who is a consistent “Like when you come in” on lives – even if I can’t stay, I’ll click in, click like and then leave, or make sure to like the video at some point while I’m watching it – again, for content creators I like/subscribe to, sometimes the berating gets a bit much and I have actually clicked off/stopped watching and skipped a video/unsubscribed because of this before.
In terms of reciprocity – the like is about as far as I go – I don’t generally have time to comment, but I will like comments other people have left, but if I only do one thing, especially if it’s someone I’m subscribed to, or the content is helpful/illuminating in at least a couple of ways, the creator is cool – I feel that I need to hit the like. I once left a comment on a short that blew up to 32k likes and about 30 replies, I engaged with it for about 2 weeks but I still didn’t like every comment made – I was more just making sure that everything stayed cool in the comments, but I do not have time for that – emotionally, in the rhythms of day-to-day life, and that was just one comment, so having a ton, plus emails to respond to, I couldn’t/can’t, wouldn’t.
I also don’t ask questions really, even if I have one and think it’s validly on point regarding the subject matter, because being pragmatic I don’t expect to get a response, so sometimes I’m checking the comments to see if someone else asked/got answered, else it’s time to go do my research and homework and sit with myself. Usually the question gets answered elsewhere, or in other content at a later date, so “We do without doing and it all gets done” etc. etc. etc.
I get that it’s also for the algorithm shenanigans, but beyond a certain point, there isn’t much that can be done and no amount of likes etc. is going to change this. Case in point – the amount of years I didn’t know that Benebell was around – despite my search terms on youtube etc., but the amount of white dudes talking about Daoism – some of whom may have made some points, but the majority I just didn’t want to engage with, before I got one of Benebell’s videos? A madness – so many of them. Only to then go check her account and see she’s been around for a while, a whole while a while, but never came up in search term results or recommendations until I’d done a ton of “Do not recommend channel/Not interested” to enough of the “preferred supply” of white dudes to exhaust it, because the algorithm is wholly biased and suppressing where it wants to be.
Same with Tarot and wanting to see Black or non-white readers primarily – but it took me years to tune the algorithm, and even now I can see that suppression is still a big part of algorithmic operation based on who pops up and what their numbers are. Black with 100k followers and a ton of likes? Ok, I’m less likely to see you than white with under 10k followers, less likes, so there’s obviously more at stake in the equation than just actual likes on content. And it happens across the board e.g. language lessons and videos where the native speaker/indigenous speakers are from non-white countries – the algorithm pushes white speakers of those languages first.
Acquaintance, friend, colleague, family member, stranger: none of these terms adequately coin what the parasocial relationship is to people, these terms mean many different things, but I think what’s missed is there isn’t any kind of training or refer-to that people were given alongside the rise of parasocial relationships in order to deal with the actuality of all their related scenarios, so everyone is laying the tracks themselves as they also are riding the train so to speak.
I definitely think on both sides, people have to be better (for themselves entirely) at managing this technological-social relationship dynamic – otherwise it is stress-inducing. Like I said, I rarely comment, I do like in engagement but not when it’s bot-like, but in the grand scheme of things also, I don’t want to be looking back in seasoned-aged time thinking “I gave them/the internet everything, and what did I get? Nothing, arrrrrrrr” so it’s a delicate and fine balance – for everyone when it comes to interaction and to what level, when where and how.
Wishing you the best of what you need to deal with being out there in these internet streets. Peace.
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There is definitely a disparity in visibility and promotion where it really does seem like white men talking about Taoism are prioritized over native practitioners, and somehow a white TarotTuber with only 5K subscribers will get promoted on everyone’s front page over a Black TarotTuber with 100K subscribers, like you observed. It’s totally true, and I don’t know if it’s an algorithm probably, an end user social bias problem, design choices, I have no idea why or how that happens, but it most certainly happens and it’s frustrating.
Thanks for stopping in to share your thoughts! ❤
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I think the algorithms are written that way. That’s the hidden bit they don’t advertise or speak about upfront, the preset biases which are intentionally coded in.
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I view everything you do as a gift. The internet and social media has made interaction with others overwhelming and (sometimes) upsetting. I’m staying away from social media as much as possible these days. I limit my metaphysical interactions with real time friends these days. I know there’s a whole community but I can’t keep up. Sally
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So sorry to hear there were upsetting interactions! ❤ I think a lot of us are weaning off social media these days and prioritizing in-person community. ❤
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I think if what someone wants is a feeling of personal interaction, and has that time/attention to offer, then maybe it’s good to find a new smaller scale creator to support, which doesn’t mean not enjoying or engaging with the creator who has gotten bigger. The smaller creators would probably really benefit from the encouragement.
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I want to flip the script on this a bit. How often have I benefited from someone’s online content — that blog post or video that gave me exactly what I needed — and not said “thank you?” Not left any comment even though what was shared meant so much to me?? I have been thinking, in the new year, of each month choosing someone whose work has been essential in my own growth and development, and sending them a note and a donation if I can afford to do so.
You mention reciprocity. Our expectations always seem to start with what we feel we are owed vs what we have to offer. I am showing up with my time and my heart in my hands. That is my offering. You as a content creator have often filled my cup. Thank you for this gift.
In general, as a viewer and reader, I am not promised fulfillment. I am offering my attention and I get what I get. Sometimes I get burned. Sometimes I am left feeling frustrated. But that exists in the space between content and delivery. It’s not the content creators fault if I disagree with their views or how they show up to any response I might leave.
We each come to parasocial relationships with our own expectations. There seems to be this mentality that content creators “owe” viewers for their offered attention. This at its core is about power. Let’s talk about our collective power to “cancel” people whom say things we don’t like or that we feel are harmful. We never come at this from a balanced place. We rarely call in and extend opportunities to redress unintended harm. Sometimes these calls for collective action come in situations that create necessary discomfort, rather than harm. But that doesn’t matter. We demand our content creators conform to our expectations, whatever they happen to be. Or else we far too quickly weaponize our engagement.
Let’s call this what is is: entitlement. Harm can come from both sides of the keyboard and screen.
I don’t think there’s any easy solution, but I think we must all start with awareness of how we, as individuals, are showing up to meet another individual. That content creator is a human being, first and foremost, with a life at least as complicated as my own.
Thank you, Benebell, for your ongoing generosity and thoughtfulness.
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Donations are a good way to support. My one bugbear with this is a lot of USA creators don’t realise that some of the links they leave for this don’t work outside the USA, and so then I have to contact them and get the PayPal one – most universal where I’m from, which takes more time and effort, unless they mean for it to be this way. But I’ve donated, bought merch, gifted decks etc.before, you just won’t find me in the comments, so my like or liking someone else’s like has to be the thank you.
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Hello Benebell
Up until now I didn`t realize for so much arrogance. I mean “you” watch free content on YouTube if “You” like it, -“that`s great!” , say -” Thank you very much” and that`s all. If you like it very very much, then you wright how much you like it, and what exactly that was that you like. And if you get response from the creator -“wow!”, that`s marvellous, if not, you got what you liked.
Anyway, when I stumble on something great or what resonates with me I just wright about it without any expectations for response. I do not needed. I can summarise myself and be grateful for entertaining information.
I totally support you and you do not need to like any comments at all, you are so generous in your playfulness. Thank you and James so much for what you do.
SE
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I don’t think you are under any obligation to provide feedback on comments at all. You put out some wonderful content, absolutely free. That is much more than enough, and something I am grateful for. If some people feel slighted, they might want to ask themselves why, and to try to put themselves in your shoes.
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Along with this, I’m noticing a lot of dubious AI-generated content that is Zen/Buddhist/Daoist – allegedly, and I wonder if this is because the generators think that no one will go and check the origins.
Plus will the rise of AI generated content push people to interact or appreciate creators even less because it can dilute quality, people then perceive the content and content in general as of less worth, nevernind how much actual creators engage?
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I think you’re right about automation and AI diluting sincere responses. I stopped sending Happy Birthdays for awhile because they’re automated and I didn’t have the wherewithall to think of something that didn’t look like an automated response. I suppose it’s useful but really the whole point was to take time to share your good wishes and now it just looks like something anyone with a millisecond can do.
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Dropping a comment to say thank you! ☺️ I appreciate your thoughts and voice on this. – Mariah
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